Hey!
Another Eating Disorder Awareness Week in the books. Congratulations! Where’s your podcast? Is your plate overwhelmingly full again? Soccer ended, and you said this was the time you’d focus on it. Where is it? Still upset about soccer? I already know you are, you don't have to get into it. How’s your internship? Do you know what kind of counselor you want to be? Are you thinking about your next internship? You need another one. Next time, at a hospital. You have to get licensed by the end of this. Who are you? Are you still an athlete? Did you sign up for the Hyrox? Are you sticking to your plan? You have to stick to your plan.
Are you helping people? Are you helping yourself? Do you even like yourself? I wonder if you even follow the things you so passionately displayed for Eating Disorder Awareness Week. Are you aware that you’re still consumed by thoughts of calories in and out, maybe more so than before? Of course, you do. Don’t you feel like a hypocrite? What extracurricular will you add to drown out the noise of those thoughts? More hours? More shifts? More webinars? More part-time gigs? Running away from it, as you always do. Literally and metaphorically. Keep helping everyone else, though—see how long you can go before breaking down.
When are you going to start listening? Also, moving back in with your parents—are they going to pick up on your mood changes, the food scale being left out, your odd grocery lists, and the constant working out despite your overflowing schedule? I think you get the picture. Are you okay? Haha, I know you hate it when people ask that. You don’t have to answer, don’t worry.
Answer this: Why are you so eager to help others, check in on them, be their support, offer up your limited time for them, and work with them in whatever way they need, when you’re still struggling to keep it together every time you try on outfits for a night out? Does anyone ever ask you why you don’t have a full-body mirror in your room? Ah, all these questions. Problems to solve. Plans to be put in place. You love plans, right?
What’s the plan, Nic? Let me know ASAP. Kisses!
Yours truly,
Nicolette
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